Today started out tough.
Simply because everything required an effort. From getting out of bed, to showering, making the breakfasts, the lunch boxes… It was all just hard work.
Admittedly it’s self inflicted. For the last two nights I’ve gone to bed after midnight. I’ve stayed up too late reading or playing on my iPad. I had forgotten how it felt, that heavy weighted feeling. Like-everything-is-a mission.
But the reminder was good.
What I needed.
It made me realise how important sleep is to me.
It made me cry out to God for help. (He did deliver too!)
It made me reassess what I was doing again, as I was beginning to feel like I’m doing too much (again!)
It made me realise that I’m not ready to give up my anti-depressants.
I’m ok with that. ‘A’ isn’t,as he is worried that I will become hooked for life.
If the ‘happy pills’ keep me paddling with the stream vs paddling upstream, then I will continue to take them, for as long as I need to.
Because getting up in the morning, should be filled with energy and anticipation for the new day, not a burden.