For the last month or two, I have been burning the candle at both and I have run out of wick.
Burn out or Depression?
I don’t know for sure. Having suffered from depression into the past, the symptoms are very similar, but I am viewing my symptoms as burnout- as they match a lot of the symptoms stated on the internet. I will, however,be monitoring my symptoms and if things don’t improve in the next few weeks, I will be visiting my GP for treatment for depression.
My Symptoms of Burnout:
- I’m feeling tired and drained most of the time- I am finding it hard work to get up in the morning and goodness knows how many times recently I have paid for a taxi to take us the mile home as I don’t have the energy to walk even to the bus stop!
- I feel like a crock- my shoulders are permanently stiff, my plantar fasciits has returned. My body is crying out for down time.
- My sleep habits have changed- I don’t want to go to bed. Sleep isn’t restful, so I try to avoid it, by going to bed at midnight.
- My negative voice is winning the cheer leading competition (Boy is it shouting loudly at the moment!) and I have nothing good to say to myself. (A very scary thought!)
- I am moaning a lot to my friends about how stressed I am.
- I couldn’t be bothered to do what needs doing- I don’t feel like cooking (thankfully my freezer has a fair few meals that need eating) or tidying (hmmm) or the laundry (a problem when A is trying to pack for a business trip and items are wet or dirty!) or the packing (a big problem as we move out of our serviced apartment in just over a week)
- I’m taking out your frustrations on others- especially my children. I DO NOT like the mother that they have at the moment. Perhaps I should go and reread my own blog on Harsh Words
Things need to change and God in His graciousness has provided me with a way out.