This series I have written almost as a journal over the last few months. I never expected it to take this long and has been an interesting learning curve.
It is early May and this week has been very challenging. I have had to just let E’s schooling go as we still haven’t heard anything and as I said in Part 3, I don’t want to throw my toys out then have to rescind…
The not knowing has been every unsettling. I feel myself thinking negatively. Thoughts I don’t wish to have as I recognise them as early signs of depression. So often my thoughts have led me to God and I’ve asked- ‘Lord I just want to go home’. The longer they take- the more I want to go home for good in the summer.
It is Golden Week in Japan- a period of 10 days with 4 public holidays in it. On one of the days A and I went out for lunch. We had a huge discussion about it and he turned to me and said that every time I ask him if there is any news I add to his stress.
That’s not being supportive! He worries enough about our family’s future. I don’t have any need to worry about it but I don’t need to add to it.
A small little voice whispered to me ‘Trust Me’
That evening my prayer was different. I handed everything over and imitated Christ “Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” (Mark 14:36 NLT) and I meant it.
The next day saw change….
A was copied onto an email from one of the dibdobs to another gently reminding him that our lives were on hold as we waited….
… good friends of ours skyped us today and offered their home as a base for M and a home for our mutt- 2 concerns we had about staying on.
Thank you Lord.
This morning we received an email saying that the offer would arrive tomorrow…
Will it be what we asked for?
Will we be here in September?
I have been a lot more at ease since that prayer 2 days ago. Whatever the future holds- God is in control. He always has been. I’ve just been the one who forgot that little detail.